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Well hopefully this will only have two parts. I feel like it will be easier to read if in smaller chunks instead of something huge. What do you think?
Personally I actually like how I made Stacy because she has the bravery people wish they had.
I think this will be different than my other stories so fare because it has more of a magical realism feel to it.
Out of all my work I want this one and the next part to be critiqued the most so please find the time and inspiration to do so. I love the concept for this one and I want to know what others think. I think this is one of my best ideas yet, do you?
part 2- malevolentpetals.deviantart.co…
Personally I actually like how I made Stacy because she has the bravery people wish they had.
I think this will be different than my other stories so fare because it has more of a magical realism feel to it.
Out of all my work I want this one and the next part to be critiqued the most so please find the time and inspiration to do so. I love the concept for this one and I want to know what others think. I think this is one of my best ideas yet, do you?
part 2- malevolentpetals.deviantart.co…
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For critiquing, I would use the box above, but this piece doesn't need much.
The only thing I would truly worry about is your punctuation. Many sentances felt like run-ons and some were just missing a comma where one was needed most. I'm curious, after the dialogue, why do you put a comma? I've never seen that before.
Also, I saw a few grammer issues; lower case letters at the beginning of sentances and misspelled words (careful with them, hon, one of your shifts was mispelled as shit).
Some things to consider when writing: be even more detailed. Your imagry was amazing, but some sentences could have more.
"...it is so worn down that they will need to fix it soon."
Who's they?
Are they purple speckled jelly bean dragons that barf rainbows or a road construction crew? I know, boring, who would want a construction crew over those dragons, but still.
Posting large or small portions of a story, which ever way you go, seem fine with me. I do both, sometimes with the same story. Go with what is most comfortable for YOU.
I have not read much of your work, there for I'm not very familiar with your style, but I love the concept of your story.
The only thing I would truly worry about is your punctuation. Many sentances felt like run-ons and some were just missing a comma where one was needed most. I'm curious, after the dialogue, why do you put a comma? I've never seen that before.
Also, I saw a few grammer issues; lower case letters at the beginning of sentances and misspelled words (careful with them, hon, one of your shifts was mispelled as shit).
Some things to consider when writing: be even more detailed. Your imagry was amazing, but some sentences could have more.
"...it is so worn down that they will need to fix it soon."
Who's they?
Are they purple speckled jelly bean dragons that barf rainbows or a road construction crew? I know, boring, who would want a construction crew over those dragons, but still.
Posting large or small portions of a story, which ever way you go, seem fine with me. I do both, sometimes with the same story. Go with what is most comfortable for YOU.
I have not read much of your work, there for I'm not very familiar with your style, but I love the concept of your story.